Experiencing Lupus Psychosis
In addition to the paranoia example above, some of my personal experiences with psychosis include:
- Confusion: One summer evening, shortly after sunset, my adult son found me outside in my pajamas. I was face-down, lying in the front lawn, sleeping. I had no idea why I had gone outside or how long I’d been there. It was probably one of the most frightening situations either of us has dealt with.
- Blackout: My husband had taken me to a “new” Denny’s for breakfast (it was in a location I was unfamiliar with). However, upon mentioning that I didn’t know a Denny’s existed there, he told me we had just been there the week before. I looked around and tried to recollect something, but it never came to me.
- Delusional: At one point, I was certain my sister was “out to get me.” I was so convinced that I misconstrued her messages and conversations of concern, encouragement, love and assistance into something “sinister.” I verbally attacked her and was willing to completely sever ties with her and abandon any relationship we had. Fortunately, she was patient with me and didn’t allow that to happen!
- Disorganization: My car uses a smart key and I always keep it in the zippered pocket of my purse. Somehow, I “misplaced” it, which was odd because there was no reason to ever remove it from its location. Because my car was at home, my key HAD to be as well. However, I never found it. It was a costly mistake!
- Neglect: I take many medications because of lupus. At one time, my medication list was longer than my mother’s who is a senior. During one particularly “psychotic” month, upon reaching refill time, some of my pills would already be gone (for days) while others had far too many left. Apparently, I would take medication, forget I took it and take it again or fail to take it altogether, which may have been what caused the “psychotic” month to begin with.
Finding Lupus Psychosis Support
My list could go on and on with some examples being far more severe, but I’m sure you get the idea. Luckily, I have a strong support system and people in my life who love and care for me. I greatly appreciate the fact that they don’t hold my psychotic episodes against me.
I’m always apologetic and show extreme determination to never go there again; but so far, it seems there is always a next time. Granted, it may be days, weeks, months or even years before I am plagued by another episode and it’s difficult to determine the triggers.
However, bit by bit — episode by episode — I’m learning more and trying to be proactive. I have discovered that there actually is a significant relationship between lupus and psychosis. Depending on how lupus manifests itself, certain people are more prone to experiencing psychosis than others are.
Although I may not be able to stop an episode in its tracks or prevent them from happening entirely, there are things I can do (with the help of others) to get through them safely and as quickly as possible. It is my hope that with care and diligence, I will eventually be able to eliminate psychosis from my ever-growing list of complications.
The Connection Between Lupus and Psychosis
Psychosis can certainly be an independent psychiatric disorder in those with lupus as well as the general population. However, research shows that two-thirds of lupus patients experience “neuropsychiatric manifestations” related to systemic lupus erythematosus (SLE) including non-independent psychosis (although a small percent).
