Memory Loss Survival Tips
Since I know I am not alone, I thought I would share some lupus and memory loss survival basics with you.
- I write down every appointment and all my to-dos. I keep it all in one location. My monthly planner has every obligation or event written in it as soon as I know about it. If I wait to scribble it in, I stand a 50/50 chance it will not make it onto my calendar.
- Post-it notes supplement the monthly planner for immediate tasks that need my attention, items I need to get, and even who I must call (and when) each day. I might actually miss a call, interview, or deadline if it is hidden in my planner, so I put up little yellow flags to remind me. I use more sticky notes than any other human I know, except maybe my young son who either really likes to stick them on things or has watched me for too long and is mimicking my survival tactic. I create post-its for what I absolutely cannot forget to do or attend for the next 48 hours and I stick them where I will see them easily the next day.
- I leave my medication in its prescribed dose for the day out on the kitchen counter. I often will not remember if I did or did not take something, so the weekly containers that have little doors for each day of the week are my salvation.
- While shopping, I always have a list I have created and worked on, so it hopefully contains everything needed. If my kids are with me, I ask them to help me with their strong memory skills and don’t let mommy forget the milk or yogurt or tomatoes, for example. I give them three or four items each to be in charge of remembering. They feel proud they helped and I can count on not forgetting the really important items.
- I have pickup times and locations for my children posted on my refrigerator like I might do for a babysitter.
- I set alarms on my phone or even the kitchen timer. I use them to remember conference calls I need to log into for work or when I need to leave in order to be on time for an appointment or work meeting.
- I ask for reminders. I have forgotten more doctor’s appointments than I care to admit. I ask that they call me the day before to remind me. I also write a post-it and stick it on the coffee pot so I see it first thing and then I set an alarm either on my phone or the timer on the stove, so I remember to leave on time.
- I keep all medical information, list of medications, specialists’ names and dates of when certain events/hospitalizations have occurred in my wallet. More than once I have been asked my history or a specialist name and my mind completely goes blank. I basically backup everything I should remember with a hard copy.
Finally, I try and cut myself some slack and realize I am not losing my mind, it is just part of this horrible disease. None of it is permanent — eventually the lupus fog clears and I remember. I am just denied access for a period of time.
I try and find little ways to hide it as much as I can from the outside world, but honestly, other people need to cut me some slack too. If it was cancer causing this, there would be sympathy and assistance offered.
I realize now that I deserve the respect of patience. I will remember eventually and I do not forget appointments or other important things on purpose.
Acceptance of this part of lupus is hard to find, even within yourself. Once you do, you work around it, work to hide it a bit and realize you are doing the best you can.
