Dating with Lupus

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edited March 2015 in Lifestyle

Lupus article: Dating with LupusDating with Lupus

Dating with lupus can be a tricky business. Anna Scanlon shares her thoughts on when to disclose and struggling with trust.

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  • I actually have MCTD and lupus is now the main component. I've had MCTD since I was 9 years old, so 30 years at this point. For most of my school years arthritis was my main complaint, but in the last 5 yrs I've had a massive lupus flare that attacked my CNS and caused a stroke so I've spent much of that time trying to recover from stroke-like side effects. Having been sick most of my life, disclosure is not a real phobia for me. One look at me and you can tell I'm not just an incredibly short 39 year old! My hesitation in dating comes more from the guilt aspect. I feel bad enough having to rely on parents and siblings for help and even sometimes care. I can't fathom asking a guy to willingly be a part of the mess that is my life. I know being ill is not my fault, that there's really no one to blame for my situation. But most of the time, I don't want to be a part of my mess. How can I expect anyone else to be? I'm about to become an embodiment of "The 40 Year Old Virgin" and I can't see any way out of it. I've NEVER dated, and 40+ seems an awkward time to start.
  • sunnysunny Member
    edited April 2015
    I was diagnosed with lupus about a year ago and fibromyalgia about 6 months ago. The same day I was finally diagnosed with lupus, my work let me go due to being out sick for 6 weeks. That day I also told the guy that I was dating because I was almost relieved to have some answers to what was happening to me. About an hour later he said he thought I was an awesome woman, good mom etc, but he thought it might be best if we were just friends. So since then I don't have flares, it's just constant. I have not been able to work and have had to rely on family, thank god for them. My life is a mess and I would feel bad for someone that I date right now because I dont really have much of life other than going to Drs appointments. Life is a little lonely but I pray for relief and that there's a light at the end of the tunnel. It was so helpful to see that I'm not alone.

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